Leela tensed. The strange little creature that she was stalking slowly edged its way down the TARDIS corridor. She crept after it almost soundlessly.
"What are you doing?" the Doctor demanded in a loud voice, striding up to her. The creature scurried away in terror.
Leela jumped up and scowled. "You have frightened it away!"
"Frightened what away?"
She sheathed her knife carefully. "The little man."
"Little man? Leela, you've been imagining things!" the Doctor scoffed. "Little men, indeed! I suppose you'll be saying there are fairies at the bottom of the TARDIS, next."
Leela gave her retort as much dignity as she could muster, "It would not surprise me. I don't think you know everything that you have in the TARDIS!"
"Well, probably not," he agreed with a wide grin. "I suppose I should have a tidy out some time. When I've *got* some time."
She did not smile, "There *was* a little man!"
" Oh, all right then. Now, where did it go?"
Relieved that he was taking her seriously at last, Leela pointed. "It went that way."
"What did it look like?" The Doctor queried as he followed her along.
She thought, "A little coloured man, with lots of grey hair. It was this high." She motioned with her fingers.
" A little-" a thought struck the Doctor. "Leela!"
She turned.
"We're following a mouldy jelly-baby!"
She frowned in concentration, "It did look like that, I suppose. It was very tiny. But the other one was bigger. It looked like- like a snake with no inside and it had a deadly weapon."
"No more cheese for you before you go to bed, I think!" the Doctor returned cheerfully. "Oh, very well. What was this 'deadly weapon'?"
She wrinkled her nose, "It smelled."
"It smelled?" The Doctor stared up the corridor. "Well, there's certainly nothing there now."
As was the law when the Doctor said these types of things, something shot across the previously empty corridor into the room opposite.
"There it was! I saw it!" Leela cried triumphantly, moving along and peering through the open door. "Ugh, Doctor. This must be the home of the other as well. It smells!"
He came over, "Now, there's no need to make a fuss, Leela. Ah. I see what you mean. Hold onto your nose, I think we'd better try to get to the bottom of this."
"Good," said Leela.
They ventured further in. The room was a small one, but it was crowded. All about the floor, various bizarre creatures crawled, wriggled or walked.
"Leela, tell me I'm not seeing this."
She obliged. Then added, "But, Doctor, what difference does that make?"
"It makes me feel better."
"Well, I feel sick. Let's go back and find something to put over our noses. A good warrior does not go into battle unprepared."
"Who said anything about battle- aargh!" The Doctor reeled back, Leela's snakelike creature jumping for his throat. Immediately, his companion, drew her knife, and pulling at the strange life-form. With great care, she slipped her fingers underneath it and then stabbed at it. After a few last wriggles, it subsided, falling to the ground. It was not dead however. It moved away in a most indignant manner.
The Doctor brushed himself down and turned to face her angrily, "Leela, how many times have I told you-"
"You didn't tell me you wanted to be killed," said Leela, putting the knife back in its sheath.
He remained stern, "No, but I told you not to go around killing things. It's a most unintelligent reaction, except of course- Leela, did you say that might have killed me?"
"Yes."
"Ah, well, that's all right then. I wonder what it was?"
Leela frowned again, "Well, Doctor, it was like a flat snake but-"
"But-?"
"It looked like one of your socks."
"One of my socks! Out of the question!" The Doctor tracked the progress of the creature across the room. "Wait a minute, I recognise that tartan..."
"Who?"
The Doctor straightened. "I've been through many strange things in my time, but I don't think I've ever been strangled by a Scottish sock before."
"A Scottish sock?"
"One of Jamie's. A friend of mine, who travelled with me for a while," he added. "It appears to have been down here so long it's gained sentience. As have a good many other things, it seems."
"Now, you're being silly." Leela laughed.
He turned to face her, "I'm being perfectly serious! Now let's get out of here so that I can think."
"Good. I do *not* like this smell."
"Now that you come to mention it, neither do I."
They stood out in the corridor, looking at each other.
"It must be bits of rubbish the TARDIS has missed some how."
Leela folded her arms, "Missed?"
"It's supposed to recycle the rubbish. Unless of course some people didn't throw things away."
"Like you."
"No, not me! All my companions. I, of course, would never- ah. I would never leave half a bag a jelly babies lying around to get mouldy and- Leela, I think we're surrounded."
She stifled a laugh, "I don't think the little men will hurt us."
"I think they know I've got a bag in my pocket," the Doctor whispered guiltily. "I'm sure the yellow one does. It's glaring at me."
Leela tried to identify the different colours under the grey fluff. "Then I will stamp on it."
"No!" His mood changed abruptly. "They can't hurt us and we're not to go taking advantage-"
She looked down at the tiny figures, "But, Doctor, you eat them."
"Not when they've gained sentience! And certainly not with that much mould on, either. And don't say that. The red one looks very angry now."
Leela remained patient. Although, he might not seem so at times, the Doctor was really a very wise man. "Doctor, if you don't want nasty little creatures living in the TARDIS, but you won't let me kill them, what are you going to do?"
"I was just about to ask myself the very same question," he returned. "And I don't know! I can't think of everything, can I?"
"No, but you haven't thought of anything yet," she pointed out- rather unnecessarily, he felt.
He sulked, "Well, I will. Soon."
Leela crouched down and stared at the jelly babies. "Go away, or I *will* stamp on you," she threatened in a low tone. They paused and then ran.
"I knew they were a good brand," the Doctor said, "but I didn't realise they were intelligent as well. Perhaps I'd better be more careful who I offer them to."
Leela stood, "If you don't want to eat them anymore, I will finish them for you."
"No, no. I don't think that this the normal ending of a jelly baby. I suspect the TARDIS herself has something to do with it." So saying, the Doctor pulled out a small paper bag and drew out a green one. In the middle of the corridor, one jelly baby remained. The Doctor had the impression it was giving him a reproachful look. He pocketed the bag. "On second thoughts, I'll save them for later."
"You don't want to eat them," she teased. "You're frightened of a jelly baby!"
He adjusted his scarf, "I am not! I was being sensitive."
Leela said nothing, but she smiled.
"I know! We seal the door and leave them to it. It'll be interesting to see what happens."
His companion put her hands on her hips, "Doctor, you are just being lazy! I think we ought to find them a new home. They might be less smelly if they were outside."
"That's an interesting thought," the Doctor approved and they headed back to the wooden console room. "And with a little internal restructuring, we can get the doors to open- there!"
The two of them hurried back to the room where they had found all the creatures. The doors were open and the jelly babies were marching out, closely followed by the rest. More of Jamie's socks exited, as did other unidentifiable small pieces of clothing and food.
Leela prowled around the room and the surrounding area, checking that they had not missed any as the Doctor went outside to ensure that he had not left them in any unsuitable place. He saw, to his consternation, that there appeared to be some war going on already with the native plant life. Now he understood why this planet was uninhabited.
However, as one of Jamie's socks was snatched up by a greedy tentacle, the plant it belonged to, stopped in shock and began to wilt. The Doctor relaxed. After all there was little he could do now and at least it looked as if things were going to be even. He re-entered the TARDIS and closed the doors. he and Leela returned to the console room.
"You will have to make sure you tidy now," Leela reminded him.
He tried to ignore her, "More importantly, the doors seem to be stuck in the wrong place. Don't worry, Leela! I'll have it sorted in no time."
"Doctor!"
He had to face her, "Yes?"
"I said, you will have to do some tidying now won't you? What if this happens again?"
"It won't."
"It might."
"I said, it won't. Oh, all right, I'll tidy up. Occasionally."
Leela watched him, "More often than that."
"Oh, maybe." Then he leapt up, and set the controls. "Leela, I've solved the problem!"
"The doors?"
"No, the tidying! I'll get someone to do it! After all, why shouldn't I?" He seemed pleased with himself. "I'm sure there must be many a cleaner all over the universe who'd jump at the chance of a more adventurous life."
Leela sat down unconvinced and wondered what kind of problem this would get the Doctor into...
Vicky Jewitt
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